Don't forget that laugh or smile sitting
That empty silent seat beside
Those common faces so bare and dull
are they still alive?
Don't forget those awkward times with others
The ones you often wish away
They remember them just as well
did they feel the same way?
Those times and days when all was bleak
Yet one smile, a joke made you laugh
Those sitting there right beside
did they take joy in that grin?
Don't forget those single days between
The endless single hours
And at the end you all were cheering
how long did that last?
How long did it last before you remembered
The photos stained with your tears
You remember those times you wish you'd forget
did you finally?
Remember the love and the pain and loss
The death that you felt inside
Those ones that you hated unrelentingly
do you miss them?
Remember those times you laughed and smiled
Those days when nothing would bring you down
And the people you were with who witnessed it
remember them
I love the topic of this poem. I think about this a lot and I wonder the same things. I liked that you did lengthen the lines gradually for that effect. This poem is really cool!
ReplyDeleteYou know, the interesting thing here is the mix of memories of both good and bad simultaneously. We tend to romanticize the past, but it always has with it that element of pain as well, those moments we would actually choose to forget if we could, and so often do. The last stanza pulls that together. Nicely done.
ReplyDeleteI too like the topic you chose to write on. It's something that we all can relate too since we do see time slipping away from us now. With this poem, you managed to pull together aspects of sadness with that and aspects of happiness that shine through our situations.
ReplyDeleteLike the others said, I like that this piece is such a relatable topic. I don't know if you meant to do this or not, but in the first two stanzas you rhymed the second and fourth lines, so at first I thought that it would be closed form, but then you sort of combined it with open form, which I thought was interesting. Anyway, I like that you lengthened the lines at the end to show that people want those good memories to last, but sometimes they just don't. Overall, really nice piece.
ReplyDeleteI really liked this poem. I feel like it was very meaningful and as it has been said before, it is very relatable. I thought it worked really nicely how you made the lines longer as the poem went on! Good job!
ReplyDeleteWow, that was really depressing. Very good, but depressing. The way you lengthened the lines really added that affect that I think you were aiming for. I really liked the topic and I agree that time seems to constantly be speeding up.
ReplyDelete